Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
