used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
