Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
