when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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