i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
