Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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