I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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