I need help removing her.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
