i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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