Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
