just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize