Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
