Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
