spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
