I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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