'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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