Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
