when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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