dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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