from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
