I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
