The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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