You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
