i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize