There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize