If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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