i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
