do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
