You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
