Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We left the knife in your bed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
