I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
