think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
