She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
