drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
