i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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