I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize