legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
