he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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