So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
