So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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