was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
