like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize