The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When are your genitals available?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
