Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize