therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
