Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
