it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
