on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize