After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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