I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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