There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
