you guys were way drunker than both of me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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