What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
