This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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