I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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