where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
