I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize