He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
