dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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