I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
