I hate all girls vehemently.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize