oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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